Cub Scout Wolf Ceremony

April 28, 2006

CUBMASTER
Would the graduating Wolf scouts and their parents please come forward and stand here facing the audience.
[Wolf Den Leaders escort the Scouts and their parents to the front, facing the audience, with the parents standing behind their Scout.]

Please recite with me the Cub Scout Promise:
[CUBMASTER Recites and Cub Scouts Repeat]
I, {name}, promise to do my best
To do my duty
To God and my country
To help other people
And to obey the Law of the Pack

DEN LEADER
Just as when Akela went into the forest and learned from the Wolf, a Cub Scout in the second grade begins working on the requirements for the Wolf badge. Cub Scouts learn about Akela and the story of Mowgli and his survival in the jungle. When a boy has completed 12 achievements on the Wolf Trail, in such areas as physical fitness, exploring the world around him, fixing, building, collecting, safety, our flag, our family and Duty to God, he receives his Wolf badge.

CUBMASTER
You have completed all the requirements for your Wolf badge and have moved along the Cub Scout trail. Do you want to wear the sign of the Wolf? If you do, please say “Yes”

CUBS
Yes

CUBMASTER
You have worked hard with your Den and your parents to fulfill the Wolf requirements. You are now ready to wear the sign of the Wolf.

Red is for courage to know right from wrong and to help your fellow Cub Scout even when it isn’t easy for you
[DEN LEADERS: paint two horizontal stripes on the forehead]

Yellow is for sunlight - to remind you to be of good cheer and to light your way along the Wolf trail
[DEN LEADERS: paint a stripe on each cheek]

Blue is for truth - to remind you to be faithful to the Bobcat ways and the trail of Cub Scouting
[DEN LEADERS: paint a horizontal stripe on the chin]

DEN LEADER
[CUB MASTER: Present Wolf badges to parents]
It is our pleasure to award your Wolf badge to your parents, who have been your Akela in completing these requirements. Parents please award this badge to your son and congratulate him on a ‘Job Well Done’. Parents, you may pin the badge on your Scout. Place the metal pin on the left shirt pocket flap upside down.
[PARENTS: Attach the pin to the left shirt pocket, upside down]

Scouts, when you have performed your first good deed, you may turn the pin right side up. Congratulations!

CUBMASTER
Parents, you have played an important roll in your son’s advancement to Wolf. Your son will eagerly be wanting to earn Arrow Points to go under his Wolf Badge. For you son to do this he will still be looking to you as his Akela. Just as your son has committed to the ideals of Cub Scouting by following the Cub Scout Promise I ask you also to make a promise. Please repeat after me:

[CUBMASTER Recites and PARENTS Repeat]
We will continue
To do our best
To help our sons
Along the achievement trail
And to share with them
The work and fun of Cub Scouting.

It is my pleasure to congratulate each one of you on earning your Wolf badge. Parents and Scouts please return to your seats.

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Posted by Matt Smith | Filed Under General | Leave a Comment 

The Illustrated Sprout #1 (and my last)

April 2, 2006

A few weeks ago, TechCrunch had a review of Mailroom from Sproutit. I read the review and watched the Demo06 video and liked what I saw. I signed up for their free account and gave it a spin for a day or two with some of our MyHomePoint emails. It didn’t exactly fit our needs since we are still into personalized responses right now. But I did like the product overall. That is, until I received the following newsletter from them.

I’m all for being a little more casual and informal these days, but this thing takes the cake. Here let me give you some highlights:

  • panicked waste of a suicidal robot
  • hand-written in crayon on pieces of bark by super-intelligent sea cucumbers
  • Doong doong doing ding dong.
  • your inbox is not full enough of ads for boner cream
  • We will ram fistful after fistful of gibberish into your computer hole.

I could go on but it looks like I’m copying the majority of the newsletter so far. If I had to guess, they probably got some ridiculous amount of funding, went out to celebrate and then someone slipped back into the office after a few too many glasses of champagne to send this lovely piece of work. This type of thing is exactly why companies have to implement the approval process bureaucracy.

From: “Curt Hopkins”
Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006 03:17:08 +1000
Subject: The Illustrated Sprout #1

The Illustrated Sprout The Sproutit Newsletter
Vol. 1, No. 1, March, 2006

Contents
· Introduction: Signup
· Sproutit News: New Rate Plan
· Bloggin’ It Old School
· Sproutut Up (new features): MoreAbout

Sign Up for Our Super Ultra Mega Newsletter.

Newsletters make me angry. And you wouldn’t like me angry. Most of the newsletters that are foisted on us are chock-a-block with tainted clams, contrived enthusiasms, transparently false bonhomie and a writing style that smells like the panicked waste of a suicidal robot.

Our newsletter, The Illustrated Sprout, is a tainted clam-free zone and we resent the accusation. The Illustrated Sprout, hand-written in crayon on pieces of bark by super-intelligent sea cucumbers, will have news you might actually use (though probably not). These could include anagrams, encrypted photos of Zbigniew Brzezinski and furious screeds on obscure Welsh verse forms. Any “tips” proffered will be your own doing. Your undoing. Doong doong doing ding dong. Language is fun.

The Illustrated Sprout will be published monthly and on certain select secret occasions.

Below are two links. Click the first one to indicate your irrational desire to read The Illustrated Sprout on a regular basis (i.e., your inbox is not full enough of ads for boner cream and stock offerings from the Island of Dr. Moreau). Click the other link in a vain attempt to decline. We will ram fistful after fistful of gibberish into your computer hole. Come on. I’m kidding. You can opt out anytime you want.

And how!

As if!

Sproutit News: New Rate Plan
We have made some changes to the rate plan for Mailroom. We know how little you care to hear about a Corporation’s anticipated future money woes so we’ll spare you. Just suffice it to say, these cigarette boats don’t gold-plate themselves. I mean: To hell with those fat cats in Washington D.C.!

In April, we are going to change the number of emails per month bundled with each plan to better fit the way people are actually using Mailroom. The new plan will work as follows. (The figures are per month.)

· Free = 500
· Basic = 1000
· Plus = 2000
· Premium = 4000
· Enterprise = 8000

Our current plans allow for a substantially higher number of emails. You can take advantage of that by upgrading before the new levels go into effect. To upgrade your plan, go to the “Accounts” page in Mailroom and choose a new plan. Visit Mailroom to upgrade now.

Bloggin’ It Old School
For more info on this and other super ultra mega Sproutit news, visit our super ultra mega blog, The Big Act. Blogs are the blogs of the future and make goodness come out and flowers and children. Everything is going to be OK now that blogs exist. No more disease or war. Throw your most cherished beliefs into the toilet, get on your knees and sacrifice your common sense, decency and self-respect on the altar of almighty Blog.

Sprouting Up: MoreAbout
On Wednesday, March 22, we rolled out the first version of a new Mailroom feature called MoreAbout. The purpose of MoreAbout is to help you connect with your customers. It won’t wig them out at all.

When you view an incoming email, MoreAbout will show you information about the person who sent it, including their Mailroom history and, when it’s available, a nice little picture. Additionally, if you use Basecamp, you can easily configure it to communicate with your Mailroom account. MoreAbout will then show you the details and progress of any work you are doing with a sender using Basecamp. (I know!)

The picture feature depends on a service called Gravatar. Gravatar, Destroyer of Worlds, is a website where people upload pictures of themselves, usually nude, together with their email address. When you enter your email address online, such as on a blog, that site can automatically contact Gravatar and the Destroyer of Worlds will hunt down a photo of you crying and re-publish it on the site making the request. This will allow viewers to associate a face (or a boob) with a comment. We do this on the Big Act, in fact. Skin crawling yet? No? Well, just you wait.

The Illustrated Sprout is written and emailed once a month and occasionally whenever we have other important news to share, by outerspace aliens from outer space. If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter, you can click here to unsubscribe and we’ll take you off the list.

copyright 2006, Sprout Systems, Inc. All rights reserved.

Popularity: 4% [?]

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Posted by Matt Smith | Filed Under General | 5 Comments 

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